Building Peacemaking Habits – One Month At A Time

The 12 Habits for Peacemakers is a do-it-yourself path to better mental health and e-volve ourselves towards more peaceful, civil, and cooperative communities and relationships. It is a “one-minute a day,” guide to a better life and more empowered citizenship. Each of the 12 months of the year is branded with one colorful habit-forming mental health theme like resolve conflicts, help others, and be more positive.

There are hundreds of published books about habits, self-help programs and web sites, but none of them build good habits FOR you and WITH you. With less than one quick and energizing minute a day, these Mental Health Habits will give you a better life and will also inspire you as a better citizen.

The overriding idea is that these are not slogans, or affirmations, but with a bit of daily focus, they become permanent habits. We evolve ourselves to become better humans.

Read below for an introduction to each of the 12 Monthly Habits.

January – Help Others and Lend a Hand

Goal for the Month: To lift our spirits and the spirits of others by caring, sharing and giving.
Color Cue: Gentle Aqua

Daily Reflection: TODAY, I offer my habit to HELP OTHERS
Health Focus: Learn CPR and First Aid

January is the beginning of a fresh new year and a great time to carry on the spirit of holiday giving. This month, when you see the color aqua, Gentle Aqua that is, think of how valuable you are, and that you can help others each day, even with just a smile.

“Help Others” is celebrated in January, because it is right after the holiday season. December’s hopeful holiday spirit of celebration and good will just ends abruptly. Now, all together, we are keeping the holiday “giving” mood going in January by promoting the ideal to “Help Others.”

February – YOU COUNT!

Goal for the Month:  To know that you count and to BELIEVE it.
Color Cue: WOW! Fuchsia

​Daily Reflection: TODAY, I remind myself, YOU COUNT!!
Health Focus: Be Drug FREE

This month’s celebration color is WOW! Fuchsia. Whenever I see or wear the color Fuchsia, I will remember that I count and that I make a difference wherever I go.

When you know you count, you know you have a purpose and that you were born with gifts to fulfill that purpose.  Each day we use our time, our thoughts, and our energy. Together we could turn all of us into humane beings more than just human beings.  Humane beings are generous, democratic, forgiving, kind hearted, unselfish and amiable.  Wouldn’t that be great?

“In February, we celebrate Black History Month.  This is because we want black Americans and Americans of every color to know that they are very important in the successful progress of our country. Feeling that “You Count” is to feel worthy, to know you have value, and know that you are good and have the power to do good.  

March – Resolve Conflicts

Goal for the Month: Patch-up a relationship with at least one person.
Color Cue: Peaceful Dove Gray

​Daily Reflection: TODAY, I strengthen my habit to RESOLVE CONFLICTS
Health Focus: Anger Management

In February, we focused on our individual worth, personal empowerment, and on self-esteem. Individual efforts do quite a bit to change the world around us, but we can do so much more if we resolve conflicts and work together more often.

Resolving conflicts with someone that you disagree with takes a lot of courage, but this is the time to begin. Start with a smile and begin mending fences. Pick up the phone or write a letter. Take a few extra minutes with someone with whom you experience problems. Try to learn more about their point of view. Life is too short to hold grudges. Forgiving others is a great feeling. Reach out today, perhaps right in your own home.  Lighten up, give a little and compromise. You will be happier and healthier for the effort..

A dove has always been a symbol for peace so the color of peaceful dove gray is the celebration symbol for March’s habit to Resolve Conflicts.  Even if you began this month like a lion, decide to go out like a lamb.  If losing your temper too quickly adds to the stress of conflicts with others, work on calming yourself down and taking time outs when you feel your emotional temperature rising.

April – Take Care of Our Environment

Goal for the Month:  Select an environmental project as simple as planting a tree in your own yard.
Color Cue: Spring Green

​Daily Reflection: TODAY, I nourish my habit to Take Care of Our Environment.
Health Focus: Be Smoke-FREE!

April is a time to refresh and renew our interest in the outdoors. Think green… “Spring” Green. Pick a nice day and go outside, take a deep breath and smell the fresh spring breeze. Ahhhhhhhh…  

That big breath of fresh air in our lungs is a good reminder to renew our commitment to the outdoor environment and to the future of the fragile planet we share. What we take care of today will be preserved for future generations. This is a time for us to appreciate and enjoy the beauty of the natural world.

The supreme reality of our time is the vulnerability of this, our planet.
— John F. Kennedy, 35th President of the United States

We know that our environment is made up of what we see, hear and breathe. What we often forget is that there is another climate that we live in—the climate of our relationships.

May – Be Grateful

Goal for the Month:  In addition to appreciating others, take time to
appreciate yourself — do something you’ve always wanted to do!
Color Cue: Grateful Pink

​Daily Reflection: TODAY, I cherish my habit to BE GREATFUL.
Health Focus: Appreciate your body with Exercise

“Be Grateful” is a perfect mental health Habit for May. During this special month we celebrate both Memorial Day and Mother’s Day.  Also, teachers, government service workers and many volunteers across America are honored and appreciated for all they do.

A great health tip for May is to show gratitude to your own body with some extra exercise.  Experts tell us that exercise can make you feel happier because it produces changes in the parts of the brain that regulate stress and anxiety.  At the very least, take more walks or take the stairs instead of elevators when you can.

We have thirty-one days to work on being more grateful and appreciative. Take time this month to celebrate “Be Grateful” in your own life and in your own way. Notice and appreciate workers you pass by on the street.  Notice that person washing windows over there. How about telling them how nice they look as you pass by? Tell your children why you appreciate them. And don’t forget to appreciate yourself. You are important too.

June – Reach Higher

Goal for the Month:  Break free of procrastination. Do the important task that you have been putting off for too long.
Color Cue: “JOLT” Orange

​Daily Reflection: TODAY, I discover my habit to REACH HIGHER.
Health Focus: Improve Your Health with Prevention

Nobody ever said life is easy. So often, we postpone our dreams until “things smooth out” or until our problems disappear or we have more time. Dreams will never happen in our lives unless we start toward them now. Tough times are often the most fertile ground for converting problems into opportunities we never believed would come our way.

June’s daily messages in The Habits of Unity are intended to inspire and uplift you and set you free from the boundaries around you. Of all of the twelve Habits, this month’s “Reach Higher” needs to be inspired to be achieved. We are able to bloom and grow in direct proportion to our willingness to dream.

This month’s celebration color is “JOLT Orange.” It cries out to be different. Use it as your secret reminder to encourage yourself and to have faith that you will accomplish your goals. Know that you CAN do it—whatever it is.

I WILL DREAM.  I WILL BE ADVENTUROUS.  
I WILL IMPROVE MYSELF.

July – Become Involed

Goal for the Month:  Have a great summer by volunteering at least some of your time.
Color Cue: Patriot Red

​Daily Reflection: TODAY, I honor my habit to BECOME INVOLVED.
Health Focus: Hygiene and Cleanliness

“Become Involved” is what America’s founding fathers did when they knew they could create a better life for the early colonists. Because our founders were revolting against their loss of rights under Britain’s rule, they created a Bill of Rights along with the Constitution. What they failed to do is to balance those rights with a list of responsibilities for all of us to practice to be good citizens in our democracy. Good citizenship is more than just voting. July is a great month to give meaning to your 4th of July Celebration by volunteering your time to a cause that is important to you.
“Patriot Red” is just the color to encourage you to do it!

Red signifies a pioneering, patriotic spirit and leadership qualities, promoting ambition and determination. It is also a warm and positive color associated with our most physical needs and our will to survive. Because the dangerous COVID virus is still ever-present, the health benefits of cleanliness and hygiene have become even more important.

August – Know Who You Are

Goal for the Month:  Be able to write down your own values about family, children, personal behavior, work performance and your role in your community.
Color Cue: Thoughtful Blue

​Daily Reflection: TODAY I reflect on my habit to KNOW WHO I AM.
Health Focus: Health Education and Immunizations

August is the summation of 12 Habits of Peacemaking, the month to evaluate who you are and how well you “walk your talk.”  When each of us is becoming our better selves, then we are also becoming more unified in America. We are increasing our focus on what we have in common – while honoring the ways in which we are different.

August is a slower paced month of vacations—a time to relax and also to reflect. Your habit-building color for this month is “Thoughtful Blue.”  Encourage yourself in August to reflect on your values and where “you” are taking your own future.

This above all, to thine own self be true
And it must follow as the night the day
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
— William Shakespeare, British Playwright, Hamlet

September – Do Your Best

Goal for the Month:  Pick a task, even a small one, and give it all you’ve got!
Color Cue: AWARD Gold

​Daily Reflection: TODAY, I practice my habit to DO MY BEST.
Health Focus: Good Nutrition

Kids are going back to school and vacation traffic is winding down. It’s time to anchor our resolve to do well, start fresh, and begin again. This month’s celebration color is “Award” GOLD.” Whenever you see the color GOLD, remember that your life and what you do with it each day is important. Whenever you see GOLD, also remember the GOLDEN RULE.

Optimistic and positive gold, adds richness and warmth to everything—it illuminates and enhances everything. It is associated with higher ideals, wisdom, understanding and enlightenment. It inspires knowledge, spirituality and a deep understanding of the self and the “soul.”

We’ve heard it said that “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”  Starting something difficult or new is a great time to remember that.  It takes lots of patience and lots of practice to just “hang in there.”  Minutes become monuments one at a time. In September, we also celebrate our contemporaries and people down through the centuries who have contributed the best of themselves to us and to the world we share.

October – Be Patient and Listen

Goal for the Month:  Find the patience to make cherished memories out of more moments this month.
Color Cue: Slow-Down Lavender

​Daily Reflection: TODAY, I pause for my habit to BE PATIENT AND LISTEN.
Health Focus: Safety in all things

Welcome October as the month to rest a weary soul. See peaceful joy in the breathtakingly colorful autumn nature show outside your homes and offices. Take in the sense of calm and quiet appreciation of beauty that we feel under the influence of “Be Patient and Listen.”

This month’s celebration color is Slow-down LAVENDER. When you see the color LAVENDER, you feel quieter, more tuned to listening, and more connected to those who pass through your day. Lavender encourages calmness and tranquility of mind and is useful for both self-reflection and invoking a relaxed, meditative state.

Think about being patient and listening as safety measures when you are driving. The accident statistics attributed to “road rage” are sobering. Driving is a time to remember something a friend of mine once said, “Help everyone that you can, and if you cannot help them, at least don’t hurt them.”  Drive carefully this month, with caring and respect for others on the road with you.

November – Show a Positive Attitude

Goal for the Month:  On every excursion, wear JOY in your smile.
Color Cue: SUNNY Yellow

​Daily Reflection: TODAY, I find joy in my habit to SHOW A POSITIVE ATTITUDE.
Health Focus: Reduce Stress

Our celebration color for November is SUNNY Yellow. Yellow is cheerful – the radiance of the day’s new sun as it first rises into the morning sky. The color yellow is cheerful and stimulates our mental faculties, creating mental agility and perception. It is uplifting and illuminating, offering hope, happiness, and fun.

This is the month to work on our perspective about life and to share a positive attitude more often. Sometimes it is necessary to “Fake it ‘til we make it.”

When we do this, we often find that a “true” positive attitude will come about more quickly. Meanwhile, we’ve curtailed our negative ripples from spreading out to other family, friends, and co-workers. Enjoy the moments as they happen this month and especially the joy of Thanksgiving with friends and family. Make positive memories to savor again and again.

Research shows that optimists adjust better to stressful situations than people who have more negative outlooks. This means that working on your optimism and positivity is actually good for your health.

December – Celebrate Community, Family, and Friends

Goal for the Month:  Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.
Color Cue: EVER–Green

​Daily Reflection: I love my habit to CELEBRATE COMMUNITY, FAMILY AND FRIENDS.
Health Focus: Healthy Hearts, Minds and Bodies

December is the last month of the calendar year. This great month of holidays gives us all a chance to celebrate All of Us. December’s celebration color is EVER-Green. An evergreen tree to remind us of the constancy of relationships throughout our lives.

Evergreen renews and restores depleted energy. It is the sanctuary away from the stresses of modern living, restoring us back to a sense of well-being. We are reminded that it is family and friends and community that are the abiding and enduring aspects of a fulfilling life. Practicing this Peace Habit is a way to keep it all together during the rough spots.

Whether finely-seamed or tattered and torn, relationships are the fabric threads that connect us to one another. “Celebrate Community, Family and Friends’’ wraps up the year and captures the essence of what the holiday season is all about, no matter what religious or humanistic belief you hold.

December is a time of celebrations when that warm feeling of peace on earth is the strongest. The famous historian Will Durant once said, “Civilization is just the slow process of learning to be kind.”  I guess the question then is—just how well have we learned to be kind?  Imagine how we will feel one day—when peace on earth really comes true. Imagine no violence, no child abuse, no poverty, no hunger, and no war. Cherish kindness. Celebrate your relationships with others this month.

“War is over, if we want it.” – John Lennon